


in my defense (i have none)

by kittenhwa



Category: ATEEZ (Band), Eden (Korean Musician)
Genre: Blowjobs, Cockwarming, Coercion, Come Swallowing, Convincing, Crying, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Pain, Sexual Coercion, bad consent practices, like please, please read authors notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29526555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittenhwa/pseuds/kittenhwa
Summary: "Happy anniversary, sunbae," he stands, bowing at the waist and righting himself with another grin. "Thank you for everything."Eden just hums, hand curled around his cup of coffee."Come to my studio in ten," is what he says after a moment of silence. Hongjoong had known it was coming, but the words make something bad settle in his stomach.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Kim Yonghwan | Eden
Kudos: 30





	in my defense (i have none)

**Author's Note:**

> **PLEASE READ**
> 
> hi! thank you for reading the notes. 
> 
> this is dead-dove-do-not-eat adjacent. the dubious consent and sexual coercion tags are there for a reason. while there is the implication that hongjoong agrees to what happens, there isn't really any way he could have said no. this is, of course, not consent, as there needs to be the option of a 'no' for it to be proper consent. 
> 
> as well, this eden has been doing this with this hongjoong for a long time. none of it has been good for hongjoong, but he is caught in this power dynamic he didn't agree to and doesn't have a lot of sway over. 
> 
> i think cockwarming for this long would be really unpleasant for all parties involved; for the purposes of this piece of fiction, we'll say it's possible and sexy. i also don't know if 32yr old men can cum this much in this period of time, but again - let's pretend! yay!!
> 
> thank you to my friends, who love me in spite of (and sometimes even in part /because/ of) the ejoong. you know who u are, and you know i love you.
> 
> title from 'the 1' by taylor swift. not really the same vibe, but i think there's some irony there...
> 
> i wrote this in one sitting, in like two hours, so please let me know if there are any mistakes. also please don't be shy to tell me if i should add any tags!! 
> 
> and with that - happy 4th debut anniversary, eden!

prologue.

He's had today marked in his calendars since the start.

"Happy debut anniversary, boss," Leez calls as Eden ambles into the studio in the middle of the morning. He's got a shit eating grin on his face, and Eden answers with a little huff of a laugh. Hongjoong's chest tightens where he's sitting, knees curled up to his chest as he clicks his phone off to look at Eden. He swallows when Eden's gaze moves from Leez to meet Hongjoong's, and manages a smile.

"Happy anniversary, sunbae," he straightens his legs so he can stand, bowing at the waist and righting himself with another grin. "Thank you for everything."

Eden just hums, hand curled around his cup of coffee. He's got harsh red marks on his neck, three of them blooming on his skin, and Hongjoong swallows down the things he is not meant to feel.

"Come to my studio in ten," is what Eden says after a moment of silence. He'd known it was coming, but the words make something bad settle in his stomach.

"Yes, hyung," he agrees, dismissing his thoughts. Nothing will change his mind, nothing ever has.

He decides to spend those ten minutes alone in his own studio space, saving his progress and closing his programs. He's not sure when he'll be back, but the tone of Eden's voice had implied that whatever it is he wanted wouldn't be a quick affair.

He's standing outside Eden's studio with a whole minute to spare, but waits until it's been ten minutes on the dot to knock. Nothing happens for a long minute, and then the door opens, revealing Eden on the other side.

He looks good - he always looks good. It's a problem for Hongjoong, who has been trying to stop this from continuing for a few months at this point. He must have met with the execs before coming here, because he's in one of his slightly more dressed up outfits, an oversized knit sweater and tapered joggers. Hongjoong has to force himself from staring at the marks on his neck, but can't help himself when Eden turns to sit back down in his chair.

"It's been four years," the words break the silence, and Eden threads his fingers together over his stomach as he looks at Hongjoong. "Since I debuted officially."

"Yes, hyung," Hongjoong answers. He's not sure what else he could say to that, so he goes with what's safest. "Congratulations. You've done great work."

Eden is regarding him with what looks like amusement. He tilts his head, and his blink is slow.

"You should give me a gift," he says, and it settles in Hongjoong like a lead weight. "I have an idea for what."

Swallowing hard, Hongjoong nods. "What are your ideas, hyung?"

"I think you should keep my cock in your mouth for four hours," his voice is so nice, low and steady. Hongjoong remembers the first time they'd met, how Eden's voice had felt like a comfort until he'd used it as a weapon. "One hour for each year since my debut."

It sounds impossible, sounds unpleasant, sounds awful. Hongjoong sinks to his knees.

There is no way he could argue this. There is just no precedent; he's never argued it before, so why would he now? The carpet is familiar under his hands and knees as he crawls under Eden's desk and settles between his knees when Eden rolls his chair closer.

"You can suck when I want you to," his voice is a little muffled by the thick desk, but Hongjoong nods as he reaches forward to tug at the waistband of Eden's joggers.

"Yes, hyung," he murmurs, and when he doesn't get a response, he closes his eyes for a quick second before leaning forward and sliding his mouth down over Eden's dick.

  
  
  


one.

Eden sinks into his flow easily, years of practice keeping him on track. Hongjoong stays under the desk, hands held loosely in his lap. It's not long before he's closing his eyes, trying to let himself drift as he holds Eden's cock in his mouth.

He's not sure how long it takes before Eden is snaking a hand down into Hongjoong's hair and tugging once. It's a familiar tell, an order. Hongjoong does as he's told, and sucks gently on Eden's cock. Coaxing him to hardness is something that comes almost as second nature to Hongjoong, who has done this far more times than he could hope to count.

Once Eden is hard, the hand in his hair tightens into a fist and starts to drag Hongjoong's head up and down on his dick. Focusing on keeping his teeth covered and his tongue flat takes most of his concentration, but Hongjoong still finds his body betrays him, getting hard under the rough treatment.

The noises are wet and gross, and Eden comes quickly, dumping his load into Hongjoong's mouth so he has to really taste it. He's glad he's under the desk when, once he's pulled off of Eden's cock, he grimaces as he swallows. The hand lets go of his hair, and Hongjoong waits until Eden tells him to put it back into his mouth to move.

His knees are hurting, and his jaw aches a little. Eden's dick is soft and warm in his mouth.

There is a happy little chime from Eden's phone at one point, and Hongjoong closes his eyes, dreading what it could mean.

"That's one hour done," he says, and Hongjoong squeezes his eyes shut tighter.

  
  
  


two.

Hongjoong hurts.

The whole affair is painful, physically and mentally, and he doesn't want to keep doing this.

He doesn't mean to start to cry, but he can't help the tears that gather in his eyes as he dwells on the hurt in his thighs and knees and head and jaw. It's all he can think about, since Eden doesn't use him to get off for the whole hour.

When the pleasant little chime rings from his phone, Eden hums pensively. Hongjoong doesn't mean to make a noise, but one slips out anyway, a helpless, sad little sound. The tears won't stop, and Eden laughs when he hears it.

"Two," is all he says, and there is no comfort in his voice.

  
  


three.

Eden fucks Hongjoong's mouth early into the third hour. The sharp tug on his hair hurts more than it usually does, amplified thanks to the way his whole body is yelling at him.

It's quick, at least. He's been hard for a few minutes already when he pulls Hongjoong's head up, and then he's fucking up into the warm wet of his mouth. He makes a satisfied noise when he comes, and it's a tiny bit of solace in the mess and weight of the rest of it. Hongjoong preens a little when he hears it, and he swallows his cum diligently when he's pulled off Eden's dick.

It's longer, this time, the time he's made to wait before he's pulled back in to warm Eden's soft cock again. Hongjoong forces himself to turn his mind off, makes himself float as much as he can.

It works; he drifts away from his body for the rest of the hour, and when the quiet alarm sounds, he finds that the time has passed quicker than the other hours.

"That's three," Eden says, voice far away, and Hongjoong hums around the cock in his mouth, grateful for the words.

  
  


four.

It takes a really long time for Eden to want to use his mouth again.

The fourth hour drags, slow and terrible. He keeps being yanked from the drifty place he'd been in by harsh sounds from Eden's computer, and the way Eden keeps shifting in his seat. Music takes time and concentration, and Hongjoong doesn't doubt he's deep in the zone when his leg starts bouncing idly, but he can't help but feel like it's pointed, like he's trying to keep Hongjoong present and hurting. 

And he’s hurting. He’s in more pain than he thinks he’s ever been in, more than he thought was possible. He feels his heartbeat in his whole body. He wants to move, wants to lie down, wants to curl up so small he disappears. 

He can do nothing of the sort. Eden keeps moving, just as Hongjoong is about to float away again. It feels like being woken up when he’s right on the edge of falling asleep, but the pain makes everything so much worse. It’s all he can think about. 

Finally, Eden’s hand sinks into his hair again. Hongjoong is sure that the tug on the strands hurts, but it’s lost in the rest of the pain. He’s forced down on Eden’s dick, rough, and then Eden is rolling his chair backwards. 

It’s the first movement Hongjoong has been allowed since they began, and his body doesn’t seem to know what to do for a moment. He stumbles, legs screaming at him as they unlock and extend for the first time in so long. 

He’s half dragged into the middle of the room, and then Eden is shoving his head all the way down on his cock. It’s sudden, and Hongjoong heaves once before getting himself under control. Eden doesn’t even fuck his mouth, just holds him down on his dick until Hongjoong is lifting his hands to paw at his legs. He can’t breathe, panic overwhelming him. 

It’s that that makes Eden come; Hongjoong scrambling at anything he can reach, unable to breathe and unable to move. The head of his dick is lodged in Hongjoong’s throat, and his cum is dumped into his esophagus. He doesn’t even need to swallow, which Hongjoong counts as a mercy. 

He’s pulled off unceremoniously. Eden releases the hold he has on Hongjoong’s hair, watches him crumple to the ground between his feet.

The alarm goes off in the quiet of the studio, and Hongjoong lets his eyes slip shut. 

  
  


epilogue.

“You should clean yourself up before you go out there.”

Hongjoong stares at his hands, pressed flat to the carpeted floor. He’s managed to push himself to his hands and knees, but he’s trembling, still hurting all over. Swallowing the sour taste in his mouth, he nods. 

“Yes, hyung,” he rasps, throat wrecked. That hurts too, and it feels worse, like a souvenir. He’s glad the album is done, that he’s got a clear schedule for the next few days, because he’s not sure how he could justify having gotten a cold. 

Eden is back at his desk, having stood and pulled his chair over when Hongjoong hadn’t moved even when he’d been prodded with the heavy toe of Eden’s boot. He doesn’t watch Hongjoong struggle to his feet, doesn’t budge when Hongjoong pulls some tissues from the low table by the door, doesn’t say a word as he dabs gingerly at his face. 

Hongjoong pauses with his hand on the door knob, gathering himself before he goes out into the common space. He has no idea what time it is, doesn’t know who might be out there. The breath he pulls into his lungs burns all the way down. 

“Congratulations on your anniversary,” he makes himself say, once more for good measure, so he isn’t called back here, isn’t accused of being a bad mentee. His voice is destroyed, so he swallows to wet his burning throat. “Thank you.”

Eden doesn’t react at all. Hongjoong turns the handle, steps out of the studio, and closes the door quietly behind him. 

It’s a blessing that no one is in the common area, and Hongjoong locks the door to his own workspace when he gets back into the familiar safety of his studio. 

Water and painkillers drag down his throat painfully, and Hongjoong picks his phone up from the desk where he’d left it. He’s got a bunch of notifications, but instead of reading them, he opens the Universe app.

 _what do you guys usually drink when you have a sore throat?!_ He sends it off without thinking too much about it, and almost immediately the replies come flooding in. They’re all so sweet, and something like sadness creeps through his chest, settling against his heart. He has to put his phone down for a moment to breathe, before he collects himself and reads through the suggestions. 

_careful._ is what Eden sends him a few minutes later, after his managers have texted to see what’s going on. Hongjoong closes his eyes, lets out a breath. 

_yes, hyung._


End file.
